baby gap

there is something that happens when a child passes through the womb, that strikes the heart of a man. a love that is God breathed and ordained and almost automatic, is given for the offspring that you helped create. it is unconditional, genuine, and truly selfless. i found that true for both of my boys, but prior to silas being born i had voiced some concerns about dividing my love between two sons. i couldn't even imagine the thought of loving another kid as much as, or anywhere near as much as park. and even after silas' birth i struggled to connect with him and create that same sort of bond that existed between me and parker. i was mentally struggling to create that relationship that i had with my oldest, and because that life experience was not there yet, i felt guilty as if i loved silas less. it took a week or so to realize that this relationship had to develop, as did parkers, i just never realized it because there was nothing to reference. as silas grew i began to fall deeper in love with him. every day a little more of his personality would surface until he became the sunshine he is now. as time went on i now am aware of the fact that my love for my boys is not split between the two, but double measured, independent and unique for each. now silas is the joy of my day. he has me smitten. dont tell park, but he is the first kid i want to come home to and lay some fat zerberts on for like 45 minutes. he is always good to give up a quick laugh or a gap toothed smile. i guess my point is...i love my son very much. i shouldn't have worried as much as i did.
-chris